Just Some Last Thoughts
by Quillian
Summary: One shot!  What Anakin Skywalker may have been thinking in his final moments... MOVIE SPOILERS


**DISCLAIMER:** I don't own _Star Wars_ or anything related to it, sad to say.

A/N: With the release of Episode III, _Revenge of the Sith_, the saga of "the life and times of Darth Vader" is complete. Now we finally see the full scope of his life, and I got this idea after seeing it months ago. With my fic "Vengeance" put on hold due to necessary planning, now's really as good a time as any to write this.

**WARNING:** This is rated PG for references to some violent scenes, just to be safe. Also, it has spoilers to all six _Star Wars_ movies, and takes place during the climax of Episode VI.

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**_"Just Some Last Thoughts,"_**

_By Quillian_

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Imperials run towards the hangar bay and any other means of escape. The entire Death Star is collapsing all around us. I'd be perfectly content to die here – I'm sure I deserve just as much for what I've done – and yet someone is trying to drag me to safety.

_Luke…_

I've failed him… come to think of it, I've failed just about everyone and anyone in the galaxy, both the people I've known and just about everyone else who I've never even met.

When I went around as Darth Vader, I essentially harmed the entire galaxy.

Am I still Darth Vader? Some people, such as my son, try to justify my actions, rationalizing that Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker are to separate people… although in a spiritual sense, rather than a physical one. In a way, I wasn't myself during those twenty-plus years as a Dark Lord of the Sith.

And yet… does it really matter now? Either way, I allowed Darth Vader to come into being…

And so I, Anakin/Vader, am responsible for it all.

Even now, memories come flooding back to me…

_Putting up with Watto ordering me around…_

_Having my mother die in my arms…_

_Slaughtering the entire Tusken Raider encampment in retaliation…_

_Being disrespectful and arrogant towards my mentor and friend, Obi-Wan…_

_Murdering Dooku so brutally…_

_Helping Palpatine kill Mace Windu…_

_Putting myself under the control of Darth Sidious…_

_Slaughtering all the Jedi in the temple, even the younglings…_

_Choking and hurting Padmé, the very woman who I wanted to protect in the first place…_

_Killing off the Separatist leaders…_

_Fighting Obi-Wan to the point where he was forced to slice me up into pieces…_

Even now, I remember at the beginning at my life in that suit of armor, on that wretched life-support system, I now remember the sneer in my former master's voice when he told me about her death.

That _demon!_ He didn't care one ounce about Padmé – I'd be willing to bet my entire fortune as a Sith that there never was a way to stop people from dying. Only now does it occur to me how truly dishonest Palpatine/Sidious was… Even if he told me that Coruscant was at the center of the galaxy, I'd still check the star maps, just to make sure.

The memories continue to come forward…

_Entire cities going up in flames just to kill some Rebels…_

_Star fighters and other ships going down in flames…_

_Force-choking subordinates to death for failure…_

_Allowing non-human species to be downtrodden, even to the point of enslavement for species such as Wookiees like Chewbacca…_

_Torturing Han Solo and freezing him in carbonite…_

_Forcing Lando Calrissian to turn his friends over to me…_

_Cutting off Luke's hand and tormenting him…_

_Torturing Leia… forcing her to watch as Tarkin ordered the destruction of her home world… putting her through misery as her romantic interest was frozen in carbonite…_

Is there no one in this galaxy whose life I haven't tainted, destroyed or ended? Couldn't even avoid hurting my own children in some form or another…

At least now, by dying, I'll give them all something they'll want, in addition to finally riding the galaxy of the Emperor…

"Luke…" I manage to force out. "Help me take… this mask off…"

"But you'll die," he says, both looking and sounding concerned.

Even now, as the Death Star is falling apart all around us, regardless of all I've done to him and his friends, he's still concerned for me. He takes after me in so many ways – and yet he has the calmness, patience and forgiveness I never had.

"Nothing can stop that now," I tell him. "Just for once… let me… look on you… with my _own_ eyes…"

I feel him remove the mask, and it occurs to me, though not for the first time, about the Emperor's dark, hideous taste in things. He essentially _built_ me to be his servant, with a face like a death-mask and a booming voice from the synthesizer.

I feel the wretched mask being pulled away as Luke gazes upon my face, not knowing what to expect. I can see myself reflected in his eyes… and yet, strangely enough, I don't even think I look that bad, considering the circumstances which led to my… _disfigurement_.

As much as it hurts, I manage to smile. I can't help but feel proud of him… I probably have no right to say it, but I am proud of him. Like all parents, I want what is best for my children. I know I haven't been a model father, but at least I helped him… _and he helped me too_.

"Now… go, my son…" I rasp out – good stars, do I really sound so much older than I actually am? "Leave me –" Now I begin to choke without the respirator…

"No," Luke says quietly. "You're coming with me. I can't leave you here, I've got to save you!"

"You already… have," I tell him. However, I can feel my own time shortening, and I now strain to whisper to him. _"Luke…"_

"You were right… Tell your sister… _You were right about me…_"

I blink one last time as I feel the life starting to fade from my body…

"Father," he calls out to me, although now his voice sounds dim…

"I won't leave you," he persists, and now his voice sounds like it's coming from far away…

Perhaps I should just… lie… down…

_See you soon._

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**FIN**

A/N: I know that technically, this isn't the end of Anakin Skywalker completely, and he continues to exist as part of the Force… but this was how I wanted to end it, and write it altogether. Besides, that final comment ("See you soon") can mean both those left behind in the world of the living and those he'll have to face again in the great unknown.

Well, anyway, thanks for reading this little fic of mine… _–Quillian_


End file.
